There are some things missing from the instructions of the game Bureaucracy in The Lost Treasures of Infocom II that were included in the original package. Among them, some stuff from the Popular Paranoia advertisement, and also the Beezer card application form in triplicate.
In most text adventures, players are advised to draw a map of the game's geography as they explore its locations. Mapping is a useful and sometimes essential way to to learn how to get from one place to another.
However, ther are two places in Bureaucracy where mapping will not help. One such place is the Airport; like airports in real life, the airport in Bureaucracy is a cartographer's nightmare but a bureaucrat's dream. The other location where mapping is pointless is in the numbered rooms in the Jungle. (Don't ask what numbered rooms are doing in a jungle; just take our word for it that you don't want to map that area.)
Players who throw caution to the wind and insist upon mapping the Airport and the Jungle will miss the entire point of those areas. Such players deserve the fate that awaits them. (Everyone else does not deserve the fate that awaits them).
AT LAST, A MAGAZINE WITH THE PROPER PERSPECTIVE!
[Picture of a shopping bag]
[Picture of the sky]
[Picture of a line-up at a banking machine]
[Picture of an amusement park ride]
[On the back of the flyer:]
[Coupon. (On the bottom, in tiny print, is written G-IC2-FLY)]
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| POPULAR PARANOIA CHARTER RESERVATION FORM |
| |
| YES! Please send me the current issue of _Popular Paranoia_ Magazine and |
| enter my one year (12 issues) charter subscription. I enclose $33.00 |
| cash or stamps. |
| |
| ____ I enclose $33.00 cash ____ I enclose 150 22c stamps. |
| |
| Mailing Name ____________________________________________________ |
| Mailing Address _________________________________________________ |
| City ____________________________________________________________ |
| Sate ___________________________ Zip ____________________________ |
| |
| Send to:_Popular Paranoia_, Dept QZ-3003, P.O. Box 333, Hoverville, NJ33030|
| |
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| Fillmore Fiduciary Trust Est. 1907 |
[Fillmore Logo] |
Dear Bank Customer,
As a valued credit cardholder and customer here at Fillmore Fiduciary Trust, you are well aware of the advantages and convenience offered by your Beezer card.
Now that you're moving to a new home, we invite you to move up to a card that offers even more. A card that is recognized in every major city in the world, where it immediately marks you as a person of distinction. I'm speaking, of course, of the Fillmore Better Beezer card.
Before we go any further, I should mention that this invitation is not extended to most people - only to those special few who are successful, confident, and deserving of extra courtesy and personal attention. People like you.
Just think of all the occasions you'll find to use your Fillmore Better Beezer card as you settle into your new community. It will make an eloquent impression each time you present it to settle a bill. And the $10,000 credit limit will provide you with the financial flexibility you need - a flexibility that Fillmore Fiduciary Trust is proud to provide.
To accept this offer, simply complete and sign the enclosed application form. Please use only the pencil provided and bear down hard as you will be making three copies. Do not separate the copies. You can trust Fillmore Fiduciary Trust.
When you have completed the form, deliver it to the branch office where where you originally acquired your Fillmore Beezer card. To better serve you, we do not accept applications through the mail. There is no need to include the $150 annual fee with your application, since it will appear on your first Fillmore Better Beezer card statement.
We thank you for your continued association with Fillmore Fiduciary Trust and look forward to serving you in your new community.
Yours truly,
Mitch [signed]
Mitchell O'Connor
Vice President for Financial Services
Questions 3, 7, 11, 14 (first part), 16 and 17 are shaded on the three forms. The signature space is also shaded out. You'll also notice that the form is full of inconsistencies (not my errors, theirs). Remember that when you filled out quesion X on the first page, it also printed your answer X on the two other forms, since it's made of carbon paper.
First form (white)-------------------------------------------------------
G-IC2-FIT
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FILLMORE BETTER BEEZER CARD
Application
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Answer questions 1-20 using the #2 pencil provided. Do NOT write in shaded
areas. Answer questions 1-16 only.
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PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF (type or use black ink only)
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1. Last Name:_______________________ 2. First Name:_______________________
3. Date of birth (day/year/month):______________/_____________/___________
5. Age (in months):_________________ 6. Present ZIP Code:_________________
7. Present Address (number, street, city, state):
__________________________________________________________________________
8. Previous address:______________________________________________________
9. Number of children (including spouse):_________________________________
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PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOUR WORK AND FINANCES (Use a #4 pencil only)
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10. Employer's Name:________________ 11. Years at current job:____________
13. Primary annual income:$_________ Explain:_____________________________
14. Bank Name:______________________ 14A. Account number:_________________
14B. Type of account(s):
___ Checking ___ Savings ___ Other
15. Check one:
___ Own Home ___ Rent
___ Own condo/co-op ___ Other
16. Assets (check all you own, except as checked in question 15):
___ Auto (see question 6) ___ Home
___ Stereo ___ VCR
___ Major appliances ___ TV (Circle one:
Color/Black-and-white)
17. Second co-mortgagee of subscriber's trustee (including first part;
use other side if necessary):_____________________________________________
If none, give alternate and explain:______________________________________
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PLEASE SIGN THIS AUTHORIZATION. By signing below I hereby authorize Beezer
International to check my credit history and permanent record. If I am
issued a second Beezer card I authorize Beezer International to exchange
information about my account with credit bureaus and institutions doing
business in North America, Europe, Asia, South America, Australia, Africa,
Antartica, Guam, or elsewhere, or with any person or persons that Beezer
International may so choose, from time to time, without recourse. By
signing below, I hereby absolve Beezer International of any
misrepresentations of fact about my account, and I agree to pay for any
charges which are billed to my account by Beezer International or its
employees. I understand that failure to answer questions 4 and 12
invalidate this application.
Signature_________________________________________________________________
Second form (yellow)-----------------------------------------------------
G-IC2-FIT
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FILLMORE BETTER BEEZER CARD
Application
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Answer questions 1-20 using the black pen provided. Write ONLY in the
shaded areas. Answer questions 1-15 only.
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PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF (use a #2 pencil only)
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1. First Name:______________________ 2. Last Name:________________________
3. Today's date (month/year/day):_______________/_____________/___________
5. Annual income:$__________________ 6. Previous city:____________________
7. Previous Address (number, street, city, state, zip):
__________________________________________________________________________
8. Mailing address:_______________________________________________________
9. Your intelligence quotient (I.Q.):_____________________________________
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PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE AND OTHER LIABILITIES (use pen)
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10. Spouse's Name:__________________ 11. Age of spouse (years):___________
13. Spouse's weight (lbs):__________ Explain:_____________________________
14. Best friend:____________________ Age of friend:_______________________
14A. Spouse and friend:
___ make love ___ hate me ___ like to polka
15. Check one:
___ Own Home ___ Application denied
___ Application denied ___ Application denied
16. Liabilities (check all you rent or lease):
___ Spouse (see question 6) ___ Cat
___ Friends ___ Lemon zester
___ Relatives ___ Dog (Circle one:
Clean/rather dirty)
17. Third subscriber of co-trustee's mortgage (excluding first part;
use more paper if necessary):_____________________________________________
If true, give reason and describe:________________________________________
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PLEASE TAKE RESPONSABILITY. By signing below I hereby authorize Beezer
International to alter my credit history and permanent record. If I am
issued a second Beezer card I agree not to use the card to purchase drugs,
alcohol, cigarettes, clothes, food, paper, plastics, textiles, cheese,
popcorn poppers, services or products of any kind, or use the card in
any unauthorized way. Use of the card by me authorizes Beezer to cancel
my rights as a cardholder. I agree to pay a service fee of $20 per month
for the card; this fee may be increased by any amount at any time by
Beezer International. I agree to notify Beezer International of any
change in my name, address, employer, weight, sex, salary, hair color,
or shirt. I understand that failure to answer questions 4 and 12 is a
violation of the law.
Signature_________________________________________________________________
Third form (pink)--------------------------------------------------------
G-IC2-FIT
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FILLMORE BETTER BEEZER CARD
Application
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Answer questions 1-20 using the Burg scoring system. Erase shading in
shaded areas. Answer questions 1-13 only.
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PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF (leave this space blank)
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1. Full Name:_______________________ 2. Spouse's Name:____________________
3. Hat size/shoe size/ring size:________________/_____________/___________
5. No. of tattoos:__________________ 6. Favorite Colour:__________________
7. Nearest toxic waste dump (we're just curious):
__________________________________________________________________________
8. Names of children:_____________________________________________________
9. Highest number you can think of:_______________________________________
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PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOUR CREDIT WORTHLESSNESS (use common sense)
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10. Last Fired From:________________ 11. Months at last job:______________
13. Pancakes eaten today:___________ Explain:_____________________________
14. Car Make:_______________________ Accidents in 1987:___________________
14r. Type of accidents:
___ head-on ___ sideswipes ___ fender-benders
15. Check one:
___ I drink heavily ___ I chew with my mouth open
___ I wear ratty underwear ___ I enjoy sheep
16. Gifts to Beezer (thank you!):
___ Auto ___ All the above
___ House ___ All possessions
___ Stereo ___ Draw a square:
17. On what page of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy or its sequel
including the North American edition?_____________________________________
Of the following (unless), wich are?______________________________________
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TAKE A FLYING LEAP. I hereby swear that all the above information is true.
I authorize Beezer International to change this information, and swear
that such changes will also be true. Beezer may sign any documents in my
name, and I agree to be liable for anything. I shall do whatever Beezer
wants, and will hold Beezer totally blameless for any misfortunes I may
suffer as a result. I do this willingly and knowingly, and I have read
this form completely and thoroughly, so I can't back up of this no matter
what. Really, I think Beezer International is just wonderful. Beezer may
use the preceding endorsement in advertising or in the courtroom sould
any suits be brought against them. I understand that failure to answer
questions 4 and 12 is punishable by death.
Signature_________________________________________________________________
"Because of customs in Canada, it took 56 days to receive your software."
John, age 35, St.Johns, Newfoundland,Canada
"The story and map included in the package do not seem to relate to the
game at all."
Jim, age 33, Gardenia, California
"Could not copy with ProDos Utilities supplied by Apple with computer.
Had to dig up an old DOS 3.3 from dealer (who is a moron)."
Gina, age 31, Lemay, Missouri
"It would be better if my print description could be
'RS232/2.BA=4800.DA=8' since resetting DIP switches and switching cables
for the only program in my collection not defaulting to the correct
parameters discourages using the script command."
Erwin, age 27, Cary, North Carolina
"It was hard to open."
Willy, age 25, Lexington, Kentucky
"This is the 5th time I've filled in a registration card and I still
haven't received _The Status Line_. Don't care once you have
the money, eh?"
John, age 24, Merrit Island, Florida
"Our program package is missing the instructions from inside the front
cover. Please send replacement before family becomes violent."
Dale, age 48, Downsview, Ontario, Canada
"Finally, an Infocom game that doesn't make any sense."
Liz, age 26, Beverly, Massachusetts